She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
