Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Randomize
