i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
