We won't sleep together?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
