Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
