I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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