When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
