I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Randomize
