so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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