Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Someone signed my nipple.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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