Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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