True but thats because hes a fetus.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
