My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
