She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
should my penis look like a turkey
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
