I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I want a musical about memes.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
