That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
There are leaves in my underwear?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
