Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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