I'm drive I can fine osifer
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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