Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
