I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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