he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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