girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
