just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
