Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
