if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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