did you get engaged???
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
