id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I won't apologize to a one balled man
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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