I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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