I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
