who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
