I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just had sex bonerless
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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