found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
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