Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
