his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
