Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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