I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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