if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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