Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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