after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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