OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
