I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
