walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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