awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize
