you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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