There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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