I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
