he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
