I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
