I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
nutella sex= disaster
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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