I wish I only lived at night.
i was born a porn star she said
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
