But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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