Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
