Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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